Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
