Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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