Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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