Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
