Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
