Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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