so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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