Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
