So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
