she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
