Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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