i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
