Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
