I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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