It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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