I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
