Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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