Michael Bay diarrhea
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I will be naked everywhere
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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