The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
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