I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
