Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
