ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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