my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
