Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
