I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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