So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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