normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
