I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
