Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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