Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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