i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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