So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
