I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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