Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
