Don't you send me to vm
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
