Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Four minutes until I can fart!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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