sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
don't judge my taste in strippers
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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