dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
then he tried to convert me to islam
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
