just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
its not stalking. its research.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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