We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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