i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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