I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
