Whod you bang
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
