So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Pooping to opera.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
