This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
