She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize