Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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