Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"

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(760): View more from California

I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"

(760): View more from California

When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."

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(819): View more from Quebec

I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"

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(541): View more from Oregon

After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.

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