theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
