google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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