You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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