even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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