the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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