it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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