I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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