WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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