check it out our google latitudes are spooning
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
