What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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