I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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