If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
