Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is classic penis vs brain.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
